What was missing was any feeling of resolution. Still, it was fun.
Disclaimer: My reaction was colored by the fact that I was watching with my husband, who dislikes the show. However, he was sucked into the scenes with Crowley and his mother, laughing his head off. He wants Castiel's pimpmobile. He enjoyed the episode, particularly Crowley and Metatron. Since I loves me some Metatron, this was a truly special occasion. He was easily persuaded to walk the dog after the show. I might never recover.
The Road So Far: Kick. Ass. These segments are always the best part of any premiere or finale, tightly edited, packed with action. Edited to ELO's "Long Black Road," this gets the main storylines across with a brevity I wish they could manage in the episodes themselves. Plus lots of cool beheadings and crashes and stuff.
Now: A frightened Crowley runs through the corridor of the
A-Story: Dean and Sam trying to get the MOC off Dean by any means necessary. First, Castiel brings Metatron (Curtis Armstrong) to the bunker. It kind of gets stupider from there.
B-Story: Crowley and his mother, Rowena. She is machinating all over the place. Crowley, initially mistrustful, loses 75% of his intellect and trusts her. I do love that she calls him "Fergus".
C-Story: Castiel and Claire. That's all you're getting out of me. She and her annoying hairdo go off into the horizon at the end. Please, please don't come back.
"Bye, Claire. I have to get back to my true love, Dean."
My fervent hope for "The Hunter's Game" was for Dean would go crazy and slaughter Claire, thus driving a wedge between Dean and Castiel. Alas, she lives.
The MOC could probably use some antibiotic cream the way he keeps handling it.
Dean sits on his memory-foam mattress, having flashbacks from the massacre. Very nice intercutting between now and then. He looks at himself in a broken mirror (symbolism!). Then he goes to the main room to jaw with Sam and Cas. No lore about the MOC, no nothing. Dean is seriously fucked.
Castiel calls in some favors and an angel named Ingrid brings a hooded figure to him. Castiel removes the hood, revealing Metatron. Now, you might think the hood shouldn't be revealed until after Metatron is in the dungeon, so that HE DOESN'T KNOW WHERE IT IS. But that would spoil the reveal! Jesus Christ, these writers are idiots sometimes.
Metatron, as always, brings the snark bigtime. When he gets a look at the dungeon, he says, "Is this where you bring the kinky chicks?" Sam, who is not allowed to have any discernible personality, ignores him and chains him up. He proceeds to grill Metatron, who is ecstatic that Dean is alive and completely out of his mind. "He's gone nuclear!" However, the Scribe of God stops laughing when Sam reveals Dean. Who is, if you think about it, looking completely out of his mind. In a quiet, brooding Dean kinda way. Oops.
Metatron needs a change of pants.
Once Dean is in the dungeon, Sam loses all of the good lines. Metatron says the cure starts with The First Blade. Sam and Dean do a walk-and-talk about why this is a stupid idea, which you know they're going to do because every tv show in the known universe has a character at some point say "this is the stupidest idea we've ever had." I can't remember why Sam leaves Dean alone with Metatron, but he does, and everything goes to shit. Metatron baits Dean, activating the Mark. Which is a really suicidal thing to do when you're chained to a chair and Dean has an angel blade.
Does anyone remember in Season 5 when Dean punched Castiel and nearly broke his fist? No, I don't either. Since then angels have gotten a lot more spongy. Dean not only beats the crap out of Metatron, he slices and dices.
Sam, who has been hanging out finishing Catcher In The Rye, hears the screams. He and Cas run to the locked door. Instead of having spare keys, Sam tries kicking in the door. Instead of not wasting time by watching Sam kick in the door, Cas blows it open. Sam restrains Dean while Cas doesn't heal Metatron (buh?) but takes him back to Heaven.
"Say my name! Say my name!"
(I had to put this kid from Episode 1 back in!)
"Listen, man, there is this incredible scene in Catcher In The Rye where Holden--"
"Shut the fuck up, Sam, you know you aren't supposed to have any real dialogue."
They call Crowley and have a meeting in the rain to convince him to get the Blade. Crowley says no. "Can't we catch a movie? Hang out?" Hee. Back at the men's room, Rowena casts a spell to let her spirit find her son. There's a nice visual of the city below, but then it keeps going and going and going until I thought we were going to end up in Jakarta.
Rowena has an orgasm when she sees THIS:
OMG OMG OMG MINE MINE MINE MINE
Damn, that's one fine looking hunk of man.
Back in the men's room, Rowena henchman blah blah blah Crowley finds First Blade missing blah blah blah Rowena kills henchman blah blah convinces Crowley everyone is plotting against him except his dear sweet mother. Oh, for God's sake, Crowley, you didn't get to be the King of Hell without knowing who your enemies are. You can't see through the obvious lies your mother is spewing? It's just...MOVING ON!
No, Crowley's not snorting cocaine.
Sam looks up from Catcher In The Rye and exposits that Cain had retired from killing for centuries, so Dean should be able to do the same thing. This is demonstrated at the end where, instead of taking out two of Claire's buddies who are trying to kill him, he beats a park bench to death.
The closing scene is Castiel bidding farewell to Claire
Random Thoughts:
Beyond carving Metatron like an ice sculpture, was there any forward momentum?
FINALLY, Claire and her annoying hairdo acknowledged that she is looking at her dead father.
If Sam can't have any storyline, can he have good hair? Please? I saw some vids from the San Francisco convention and GOOD LORD THAT IS HAIR THAT IS A NATURAL WONDER SHOW WHAT ARE YOU DOING??
Next week: Stuff. I forgot. Sorry.
Photograph of Ruth Connell copyright Ruth Connell
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