Today, In Embarassing News

We were running late to go to the opera (la-di-da!) and as usual my hair refused to do anything but look wrong, I was stressing out on what to wear on a freezing night, and by the time I got those issues straightened out, I realized I hadn't put any makeup on.

Those who have met me personally know that I don't often wear makeup, but going to the opera calls for makeup.  I squirted this Almay stuff that says it will magically match your skin tone.  Mine was "light to medium." I think I got a mislabeled bottle. It was a strange greenish color out of the tube, and as I rubbed it vigorously on my face, it turned...deep tan.  Like raven-haired sun worshiper in August tan.

For some reason I kept rubbing it, somehow hoping it would change color again.  I've never had a really deep summer tan.  So it was pretty cool to look at.  But with zero minutes to go, I washed my face, slapped on some eyeliner and mascara and we swanned off to the Metropolitan Opera. Of course, when I saw myself in the mirror in the ladies room while on the line waiting for a stall, there was a thick dark brown smudge running from my temples to under my chin.  I'm not sure what I wanted more, for people to think it was weird makeup or if it was a nascent beard.