I Carry A Badge - Dragnet 1969 Fan Fiction (NC-`17)

Written for the "Come As You're Not" fiction challenge.  The challenge was to write for a bizarre fandom.  I picked "Dragnet 1969".  You can't get more bizarre than that.  NC-17, 'cause it's funny.
Characters: Joe Friday, Bill Gannon.  POV: Joe Friday.

Officer Bill Gannon, Sergeant Joe Friday.

This is the city. Los Angeles, California. It’s a nice place to live. We try to keep it that way. But there are rapists, murderers, thieves. Every 60 seconds a crime is committed. That’s where I come in. My name's Friday. I carry a badge.

(DRAGNET THEME)

It is Tuesday afternoon. Then we get the call: a 163 in progress in Yuma City.
3:10, Yuma City. My partner Bill Gannon and I arrive in an unmarked car. By that time the perpetrators have fled.
Gannon: “Well, looks like we have an afternoon on our hands.”
Friday: “Let’s keep an ear on the scanner.”
3:30, Yuma City. The scanner reports routine crimes. Purse snatching. Marijuana bust.
Gannon: “You know, Joe, there’s been something on my mind.”
Friday: “Yeah.”
Gannon: “How ‘bout we have sex? We don’t have to bring the car back until 6:00.”
Bill is right. The car is due in the police garage at no later than 6 p.m.
Friday: “You know a motel?”
Gannon: “Yeah.”
Friday: “Hourly rate?”
Gannon: “It’s cheap enough. Don’t care who you are. One thing.”
Friday: “Yeah?”
Gannon: “Don’t let the wife know.”
3:45, Yuma City. We check into the Yuma City No-Tell Motel.
Clerk: “You want a single room?”
Friday: “Yeah. With extra towels.”
3:47, Yuma City. Officer Bill Gannon and I check into room 317. We draw the shades. Gannon puts the police scanner on the bedside table.
Gannon: “Well, Joe, here we are.”
3:49, No-Tell Motel. Officer Bill Gannon is stripped down to his underwear, revealing a Caucasian male, 5 foot 10 inches, approximately 195 pounds, with a distinctive birthmark on his right hip. I undress in an leisurely manner, so as to not let Gannon know that I am eager.
Gannon: “You use the police gym, don’t you, Joe?”
Friday: “Twice a week. Looks like you could use it a few times.”
3:51. Officer Bill Gannon proceeds to kiss me. He needs a shave. Gannon puts his arms around my waist and continues his osculation.
Friday: “Good kissing.”
Gannon: “Thanks, Joe. How about some tongue.”
Friday: “If that’s what you want.”
I put my tongue in Gannon’s mouth. From his facial expression I deduce that he feels pleasure. So do I. There is an erection in my briefs, indicating sexual arousal.
Gannon: “You want me to suck that?”
Friday: “No. Lie on your stomach.”
Gannon: “Whatever you say, Joe.”
4:15, No-Tell Motel. Officer Bill Gannon lies naked on the left-hand twin bed. I lubricate my penis, which is still erect.
Friday: “You showered?”
Gannon: “Yeah.”
4:17. I lower myself until I am perpendicular to Officer Gannon. I insert my right forefinger into his anus. He responds with what again sounds like pleasure. We have done this many times. I put the lubricating fluid onto my penis, then push into him. It feels good.
Gannon: “Joe, that’s great.”
Friday: “Yeah. Scream like a girl.”
Gannon: “You got it.”
As ordered, Officer Gannon proceeds to scream like an underage female as I slide in and out of his anus. I increase my speed, until he is arching himself under me. I sit up on my knees and hold Gannon’s hips for maximum penetration. I proceed to pound him with alacrity.
Gannon: “Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe”
Friday: “Who carries a badge?”
Gannon: “You carry the badge—Joe—badge—yes—“
4:26 p.m. Officer Gannon ejaculates. I continue my motions until I, too, ejaculate.
4:31 p.m. No-Tell Motel. We stay in the motel room and share a cigarette.
4:40 p.m. No-Tell Motel. We have sex again. Gannon is always the bottom.
5:02. It is time to return the car.