Eugenie Ross-Leming and Brad Buckner continue their soul-destroying run of terribly written episodes with "Dark Dynasty," sloppily directed by Bob Singer.
rundown: Sam lies to Dean about book. Actors with bad Southern accents
have dumb conversation laden with "menace" that somehow reminds me of
those cheap little cheese n' crackers you get at Gas n' Sips. Cut
(literally) to the chase - the Dark Dynasty is the family of--dun dun
Oh, for fuck's sake.
Sam feels your pain
Can you believe this cheesy plot?
If we're German, why do we have these terrible Southern accents?
Because Bob Singer is pussy-whipped
Sam lies to Dean, gulping and twitching and holding up small signs that say, I'M LYING YOU IDIOT COULD I BE MORE OBVIOUS.
His lies are so bad they have flattened his hair
Sam is conveniently in another room, one of the Frankensteins tells
Dean the Book of the Damned is indestructable. Jensen Ackles tries to
look like he cares.
Wow, man, I'm destroyed inside. Or not.
every time I hear it, Dean shouting "Charlie has the damned Book of The
Damned?" it gets funnier. And more annoying. Couldn't they have left
the first "damned" out? Oh, wait, Eugenie Ross-Leeming and Brad
Sam has gathered Rowena, Cas and Charlie into the
Abandoned Brewery of Doom to crack the code of the code of the code of
the Book of the Damned. Rowena is the only enjoyable part of this, so
I'm going to skip the rest. Might as well tell you now, Charlie ends up
dead. No real reason. She just ends up dead. Robbie Thompson sobs in
the corner. But, you know, executive producer's wife. So there.
One of us is gonna die, and it ain't gonna me.
They're saving you for the season finale.
Rowena realizes that she's an older woman and an interesting character, so she's probably next.
to give Mark Sheppard something to do, Crowley talks to a hamster and
learns that his mother had a demon lover I mean whatever who cares how
are you going to shoehorn that into the next two episodes maybe it was
that Nazi necromancer that got away two seasons ago the dart thing is
For no other reason than to get killed, Charlie needs to
be alone. Rather than wait until Cas does the obligatory
leave-the-room-while-someone-escapes gambit (already done once in this
episode) to chain up Rowena elsewhere, Charlie bolts to a motel. The
Frankensteins find her, she uploads a file and presumably sends it to
Sam, they break down the door and...
Dean's grossed out. I'm too busy thinking about how hot Sam looks with wet hair.
So, that happened, as the kids say.
plot was like a huge pile of cafe chairs badly stacked up. Strange
metaphor, but I've seen piles of cafe chairs so I know what I'm talking
Jensen echoes my feelings
Twitter explodes, FEELS all over the place.
Those Microsoft Surface product placements are getting out of hand.
The Frankensteins caused the plague? Seriously? Seriously?
We need Lucifer to show up and bitch-slap some sense into the family.
And why wouldn't Crowley know about them? Haven't any of the Stynes shown up in Hell over the last few millenia?
does Rowena go to the bathroom? And what was up with that tiny piles
of bones on the table that were never referenced again?
Charlie come back as a Frankenstein-type monster? That would be cool.
Or an evil spirit that Rowena turned her into? Bueller? Bueller?
week: it's the penultimate episode, there's 10,000 badly laid out
side-plots, Dean is still too reasonable for anyone to be that concerned
about him, and stuff will happen all over the place.