Saturday, May 13, 2023

Holy Crap, I'm Back!

I've been seeing this blog pop up whenever I type in "Scene Three, Take Six Thousand", which is also the name of my neglected Tumblr. I don't know why I stopped writing in it. I'm thinking of posting my 2015/16/17 entries about my breast cancer "journey". If you could call it that. They say when you face death it makes your priorities clear. It didn't help a bit. All of those autobiographies and "cancer journey" essays lied. 

There's a lot of stuff I'd like to port over from my now defunct Live Journal blog, which was where I wrote everything. We'll see if anything happens.




 

Wednesday, January 24, 2018

Jared Padalecki - Stand





This is a video that was made for me, several years ago, during a rough time. I came across it and needed to share the goodness! Jared is so goofy and Jensen is so done.

Thursday, September 7, 2017

Writing Thoughts and Escaping From Reality

So, once again, I’m tempted to write in another fandom. I wrote my first Jeeves/Wooster fic, “Hard Boiled Eggs” and I’ve been on a reading binge for at least a week. A large part of the latter is that my elderly mother is doing badly and I need to hide from that and from the state of the world in general. So I plunge into the world of Archive of Our Own 3 for hours on end.



But is all of my time to be taken up writing fanfic? I’m not young anymore. I should be turning my thoughts to a memoir,  and essays. I have many ideas. I’ve written about mental illness. Right now I’m writing a piece about going insane. I’m quite good at it. I’m considering writing about handling a gun (45) while I was in Memphis and how I really wanted to buy it. Even though I’m pro-gun control and a New Yorker to boot. I should finish a long piece I’ve been writing about my father’s death. Or the time I had orgasms for 18 straight hours. Or the time a SWAT team showed up on my doorstep and took me to the psych ward. (Turns out it was a false alarm–someone called in to 911 deliberately. I never found out who it was.) I managed to write about being deported from England, in “A Basket Full of Cats”.

I should finish the enormous historical fantasy novel I’ve worked on in spurts since 2009. I should promote the anthology of my plays that a small press published over a year ago. I should try to perform more than twice a year.

Part of me just wants to write about the unexpected consequences of when Bertie convinces Jeeves to be Fred Astaire to Bertie’s Ginger Rogers.

If I was younger I wouldn’t be quite so conflicted. Oh, wait, I’m always so conflicted.

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Movie Review: "Victor Frankenstein" What Is Dead Should Stay Dead And Not Remade

I've been away for a long time.  Wasting my time on tumblr and twitter, being generally paralyzed by the state of the world, the usual.  But I've found myself wanting to write about films.  Currently I am screening the films of Daniel Radcliffe.  I was knocked out by Swiss Army Man, about which more in a future entry.  I've never seen more than a few minutes of Harry Potter.  So I don't come encumbered with any baggage when I watch his films.

So, I’ve been watching Victor Frankenstein, and I have to say, it stinks. Both James MacAvoy and Daniel Radcliffe do their damndest to bring the story to life. But not only have we seen this before, we have to wait for a hellishly long time for the monster.  Which then explodes in a series of blinding flashes and complete nonsense.  At the end the movie sets itself up for a sequel. Since it flopped, I doubt one is forthcoming.

Watching on my computer screen is a blessing.  I can stop the movie, do some chores, and come back. I can’t imagine sitting through this on the big screen.

Good evening, I'll be your tortured freak for the evening

The beginning is by far the best part of the movie, when Igor (Daniel Radcliffe) is the abused nameless hunchback/gifted doctor in the circus who is freed by Victor Frankenstein (James McAvoy).  Amazingly enough, the “hump” is a gigantic 18-year-old abscess.  Um, okay.  The first intensely homoerotic sequence is Victor smashing the hunchback against a pillar to straighten his body.  Victor names him Igor.  Igor is amazed at standing up.  He is told to take a shower and dress and do something about his hair. Amazingly enough, he knows how to shower, shave, and cut his hair.

Why look, it’s Daniel Radcliffe.

Within hours, his gait has straightened, learned to dress himself in spiffy Victorian fashion, and stride jauntily around the streets of London. Throughout the picture, Radcliffe manages to suggest his former self at moments. But for the most part he becomes a proper English gentleman able to dance, fall in love and have sex with Lady Sybil from Downton Abbey. She has no real identity because we come for the monster, stay for the hot and heavy bromance.  I love a good potential ship as much as the next fan, but I wanted to slap James McAvoy.  My god, man, you probably didn’t need to go to craft services because you were too busy chewing scenery.
Aaaaacting!

Victor and Igor create a chimpanzee and bring it to life, but it turns out to be a crazed killer in a sequence that doesn’t get anybody killed but does break a lot of glass. Hunted by an extremely dull police inspector, they hide out in a castle and bring the monster to life in the last 10 minutes.  Right before the whole big bang finale, we hear Igor saying, “you know the story” which serves to make the ending of the movie even more tedious.

It involves lots of shouting in the rain.  The monster is–well–a monster.  Tries to kill everyone, there are explosions, screams, minor characters falling to their death blah blah blah.  I’ve watched the ending twice and I still can’t figure out what’s going on. Explosions, majestic faux-classical chorus, people screaming. That’s okay, I’ll wait it out.  By the way, there’s huge pieces of metal, guns, electricity–how come it doesn’t occur to anyone to stab the bloody thing in the HEAD?

The movie flopped, in part because of its bloated budget. If the filmmakers hadn’t be so in love with their Sherlock knock-off, they might have cut 30 minutes and cut the redundant dialogue about life/death God/man. Why bother when we know the ending?

It’s not all bad. I opened my mail, paused it and made some phone calls, looked it up on imdb.com and got to look at Daniel Radcliffe. He is sexy and adorable. I’ve only seen him as adult actor. So I have Harry Potter reference points. Probably good, because then I might be thinking of the Boy Who Lived instead of the Monster Who Died.

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Random Hollywood: Kitty McHugh

Kitty McHugh was the sister of Warner Brothers character actor Frank McHugh.  They performed together in vaudeville.  Married to cantankerous actor Ned Glass, McHugh took her own life by swallowing sleeping pills.


This is a series of random pictures of actors and actresses, for no particular reason. If you want to add information, feel free.

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Phyllis Diller Chili!

Comedian Phyllis Diller, a major star in the 1960s and 1970s, decided to start her own food company.  The first (and only) product the company produced was "Phyllis Diller Chili" in 1987.  It came in chicken, beef and vegetarian varieties.

Phyllis and her daughters at the inaugural launch of Phyllis Diller Chili



It doesn't seem to have lasted that long, although there are photographs of the cans quietly rusting away.

Chicken Chili with Beans...it's a wonder it didn't fly off the shelves!
"It Took Diller To Remove The Filler"

What can I say? Other than GLACK.

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Prince: Under The Cherry Moon Part One

It's Prince-O-Rama!

I'm going to jump ahead in time, to this interview that Prince gave to MTV shortly before the release of his second film, "Under The Cherry Moon".

reprinted in ROCK & SOUL * APRIL 1986
THE PRINCE INTERVIEW
Mr. Purple Discusses His Movies, His Music, His Musicians
And More, More, More.
By Michael Shore



Prince's next feature film, Under the Cherry Moon -- and the much-anticipated followup to his smash debut, Purple Rain -- should be out in theaters in three or four months. It's even more eagerly awaited because it's also Prince's feature-film directing debut.
Originally, the film was to be directed by Mary Lambert, a premier music-video director who has overseen Madonna's "Borderline" and "Material Girl," Sheila E.'s "The Glamorous Life," and the Go-Go's "Yes Or No." But in mid-September, about a month or so into the movie's two-month shooting schedule, Lambert abruptly walked off the set and handed the directing reins to His Royal Badness.
Lambert issued a statement which read, in part, "I'm leaving under totally amicable circumstances. It's just become quite apparent that Prince has such a strong vision of what this movie should be, a vision that extends to so many areas of the film, that it makes no sense for me to stand between him and the film anymore. So I'm going off to work on my own feature and letting him finish his."
Lambert's was not the first departure from the set of Under the Cherry Moon. Just days into filming, veteran British actor Terrance Stamp walked off the set, allegedly due to "scheduling conflicts," which may or may not be public relations' diplomacy. In any case, Stamp was replaced in short order by Steven Berkoff, who played the heavies in both Beverly Hills Cop and Rambo. He'll be seen as the father of Prince's love interest in the film.
Under the Cherry Moon is a love story, set in the 1940s and shot in black and white. Word from the set has it that the plot is more or less spelled out in the lyrics to "Condition of the Heart" on Around the World in a Day, which appears to be about a musician falling in love with a woman too rich and worldly for his own lifestyle.
In Under the Cherry Moon, Prince's love interest is a rich girl named Mary Sharon who, according to one cast member, "wears miniskirts and pigtails." Prince plays Christopher, a piano player in a casino-style lounge in a place similar to the French Riviera, where the film was shot. One unconfirmed story was that Prince wanted to shoot some scenes in Monte Carlo but Prince Rainier wouldn't grant permission. Guess he felt one prince on the premises was enough.
While the plot may come from a Prince song, don't expect much Prince music in Under the Cherry Moon. Another unidentified crew member says the Revolution was on the set only to shoot the video for "America," that there's no band music in the film at all, and that the only Prince music in the film is His Royal Badness at the acoustic piano. So there may or may not be soundtrack album. Another crew member confirmed, though, that there is one actual "song," and it's called something like "Snowing in July." You'll recall that when Prince announced he would stop touring late in the Purple Rain tour, one of his cryptic reasons was, "Sometimes it snows in July."





The rest of the cast includes little-known British actress Kristen Scott-Thomas as Mary Sharon; Jerome Benton, Morris Day's former valet in the Time and now a member of the Family, as Prince's "partner"; veteran British actress Francesca Annis as an older woman with whom Prince's character reportedly has an affair; and Victor Spinetti, whose career as a supporting player in rock movies goes all the way back to the Beatles' A Hard Day's Night and Help!
So what'll the movie be like? Your guess is as good as ours or anyone else's at this point. But consider another hot report from one crew member. In order to complete the film on time after he took over from Lambert, Prince shot the remaining scenes in one take.
Maybe that's a good sign. After all, His Royal Badness did all right making records by himself for a long time, and surprised a lot of supposed experts with the success of Purple Rain. Somehow, it's hard to believe Prince is finished surprising us.
Late in 1985, Prince broke his self-imposed silence and spoke to the public for the first time in almost four years. First came an interview for Rolling Stone magazine. Later came an interview for MTV. Prince's agreement to be interviewed took MTV so suddenly that the staff at the cable network were unable to arrange to conduct the interview in person. Consequently, the Music News staff resorted to simply providing a list of questions to be read to Prince by his manager and answered by Prince on videotape. MTV elected to broadcast only parts of the interview. The full interview was then offered to other broadcasters.
The videotaped interview was conducted in France, where Prince was shooting his forthcoming motion picture, Under the Cherry Moon. He first took a break to film the video for America, the third single from the Around the World in a Day LP, before 2,000 kids at the Theatre de la Verdure (translation: Greenery Theatre), which is a huge tent on the Promenade des Anglais in Nice. Once the video shoot was completed, Prince & the Revolution treated the audience to a 90-minute concert. Afterwards, Prince sat with a few of the young people in attendance and answered the questions prepared by the MTV Music News staff. It marked the first time in his career that Prince had said more than two sentences on TV. Unfortunately, in many cases, he didn't answer the questions posed, as you'll see. Although Prince is very good at many things, his inexperience with interviews shows greatly.

The first and most obvious question is, why have you decided to drop your media guard with the recent Rolling Stone interview and this one for MTV? And why were you so secretive prior to this?
 
Well, as you can see, I've made a lot of friends here, but I was homesick and I missed America. I guess I just wanted to talk to somebody.

Prince in his MTV interview
A lot of observers have remarked on your apparent need for control, and only with your two most recent albums, you gave credit to your band for composing, arranging and performing. It seems to us, from what we know of your personal background, that the need for control arose from your childhood and early teen years when you had a total lack of control over your life and were shuttled from home to home. Is this the case? If not, how does the need for control and/or your current, more open stance relate to your music?
 
I was horrible. To be perfectly honest, I was surrounded by my friends, but nevertheless, we had a difference of opinion in a lot of situations -- musically speaking, that is. A lot had to do with me not being quite sure exactly which direction I wanted to go in. Later on toward the Controversy period, I got a better grip on that. That's when we started to see more and more people participating in recording activities. Boom.
Someone in Minneapolis recently told us that several months ago they were in a studio there when David Rifkin, your sound engineer, walked in. They asked him what he thought of the new Prince album, Around The World In A Day. He said, "It's great, but wait 'til you hear the new album." Apparently, he meant you're already working on a new LP, and that this one would be a strong return to your funk roots. Is this true? Can you elaborate? What will it be called? When will it be due out, and what's the music like?
 
Don't you like surprises? Guess not. Ah, it is true I record very fast. It goes even quicker now that the girls help me -- the girls, meaning Wendy and Lisa. I don't really think I left my funk roots anywhere along the line. Around The World In A Day is a funky album. Live it's even funkier.
Why did you make the announcement that there'd be no singles or videos from that LP, and then start issuing singles and making videos anyway? 
 
Because I wanted this album to be listened to, judged, critiqued as a whole. It's hard to take a trip and go around the block, and stop when the trip is 400 miles. Dig?
Speaking of singles and videos, your latest is "America." This is one of the most political songs you've ever done. Could you tell us what the song is supposed to say to people? For example, is it straightforwardly patriotic or more complicated than that?
 
Straightforwardly patriotic.
We understand you directed the "America" video, and that you also directed "Raspberry Beret." How do you approach directing a video? Do you consult others in order to keep a certain perspective when directing yourself? 
 
Yes, definitely. When directing myself, I consult Steve (Fargnoli), my manager. On directing other Paisley Park artists, I consult the artists first and foremost. One of the things I try to do with the things I direct -- namely for our acts -- is go for the different, the out-of-the-norm, the avant purple, so to speak. And the thing that's unique about the situation I'm in now with these people is that they all know who they are, and they agree with me when we say the one thing we produce is the alternative. If someone wants to go along for that ride, then cool.
Would you ever like to direct your own movie?
 
Yes, (very enthusiastically) yes, yes.
Speaking of movies, tell us as much as you can about Under The Cherry Moon. 
 
Ooooh.
What's the plot, what kind of characters, what kind of music, how many songs, what can we expect?
 
It's a French film. It's a black-and-white French film, and ah, she's in it (girlish giggles can be heard). And her name's Emanuelle.
A lot of people were offended by what they saw as sexism in Purple Rain.
 
Now, wait, wait. I didn't write Purple Rain. Someone else did. And it was a story, a fictional story, and should be perceived that way. Violence is something that happens in everyday life, and we were only telling a story. I wish it was looked at that way, because I don't think anything we did was unnecessary. Sometimes, for the sake of humor, we may've gone overboard. And if that was the case, then I'm sorry, but it was not the intention.
When and how did you first get the idea for Purple Rain? Did you really spend a year or so taking notes in a purple notebook, like some people have said?
 
Yes.
Did you ever think Purple Rain, the movie and the album, would be as big as they were?
 
See this cuff link? Give a brother a break. I don't know.
Speaking of brothers, some have criticized you for selling out to the white rock audience with Purple Rain, and leaving your black listeners behind. How do you respond to that?
 
Oh, come on, come on! Okay, let's be frank. Can we be frank? If we can't do nothing else, we might as well be frank. Seriously, I was brought up in a black-and-white world and, yes, black and white, night and day, rich and poor. I listened to all kinds of music when I was young, and when I was younger, I always said that one day I would play all kinds of music and not be judged for the color of my skin but the quality of my work, and hopefully I will continue. There are a lot of people out there that understand this, 'cause they support me and my habits, and I support them and theirs.
How do you feel about Jesse Johnson leaving the Time? Have you heard his album, and if so, what do you think of it?
 
Jesse and Morris and Jerome and Jimmy and Terry had the makings of one of the greatest R&B bands in history. I could be a little pretentious in saying that, but it's truly the way I feel. There's no one that could wreck a house like they could. I was a bit troubled by their demise, but like I said before, it's important that one's happy first and foremost. And, as far as Jesse's record goes, chocolate. You know.
It was obvious from the Purple Rain tour that, with the extended jams on some of these songs, you were paying tribute to James Brown. Would you agree? Who, besides James Brown, were your major musical inspirations and influences? Obviously you were thinking of Hendrix, Clinton and Sly Stone.
 
James Brown played a big influence in my style. When I was about 10 years old, my stepdad put me on stage with him, and I danced a little bit until the bodyguard took me off. The reason I liked James Brown so much is that, on my way out, I saw some of the finest dancing girls I ever seen in my life. And I think, in that respect, he influenced me by his control over his group. Another big influence was Joni Mitchell. She taught me a lot about color and sound, and to her, I'm very grateful.
In your Rolling Stone interview, you said you were surprised by so many people comparing you to Hendrix because you've always been more into Santana than Hendrix as a guitarist.
 
A lot has to do with the color of my skin, and that's not where it's at. It really isn't. Hendrix is very good. Fact. There will never be another one like him, and it would be a pity to try. I strive for originality in my work, and hopefully, it'll be perceived that way.
Your father is a musician too. Have you ever, or would you ever, try to get your father's music released on an album?
 
I did. He co-wrote "Computer Blue," "The Ladder" and several tunes on the new album. He's full of ideas. It'd be wonderful to put out an album on him, but he's a little bit crazier than I am.
You gave Andre Cymone the song, "Dance Electric," for his new album, and we know that you two had some kind of falling out a few years back. When and how did you patch things up?
 
I saw him in a discotheque one night and grabbed him by his shirt and said, [at this point, Prince reenacts the scene down to the last facial gesture], "Come on, I got this hit. You know I got this hit, don't you? "Dance Electric"? Yeah, it's great. You need it, you need it. no... Hey, come here, don't you play, hey, no, no, no you're not crazy, I'm crazy. I'm the one that's crazy, K? What chu gonna do? You gonna come by? For real? You ain't mad or nothing? So what? Yeah tomorrow. Noon. Cool."
We hear rumors that the Revolution may record an album of its own.
 
I don't know. It'd be too strange. They're very talented people, but they're (motions with his hands like a spastic hula girl), and together we're (motions with his hands, making them neatly parallel). I'd rather stay here (parallel), than (spastic).
Can you tell us about Paisley Park?
 
Paisley Park is an alternative. I'm not saying it's greater or better. It's just something else. It's multicolored, and it's very fun.
Can you comment on the incident that occurred after the American Music Awards in January 1985?
 
We had talked to the people that were doing USA for Africa, and they said it was cool that I gave them a song for the album. It was the best thing for both of us, I think. I'm strongest in a situation where I'm surrounded by people I know. So it's better that I did the music with my friends than going down and participating there. I probably would have just clammed up with so many great people in a room. I'm an admirer of all of the people who participated in that particular outing, and I don't want there to be any hard feelings. As far as the incident concerning the photographer goes, it's on the flip side of "Pop Life." The main thing it says is that we're against hungry children, and our record stands tall. There is just as much hunger back here at home, and we'll do everything we can, but y'all got to understand that a flower that has water will grow and the man misunderstood will go.
Have you changed your mind about touring since you announced the Purple Rain tour would be your last?
 
No. I don't plan on touring for a while. There are so many other things to do.
Now that Purple Rain has made you such a huge superstar, do you worry about the possibility of a backlash against you?
 
One thing I'd like to say is that I don't live in a prison. I am not afraid of anything. I haven't built any walls around myself, and I am just like anyone else. I need love and water, and I'm not afraid of a backlash because, like I say, there are people who will support my habits as I have supported theirs. I don't really consider myself a superstar. I live in a small town, and I always will. I can walk around and be me. That's all I want to be, that's all I ever tried to be. I didn't know what was gonna happen. I'm just trying to do my best and if somebody dug it then (kiss, kiss to the camera).
What are your religious beliefs?
 
I believe in God. There is only one God. And I believe in an afterworld. Hopefully we'll all see it. I have been accused of a lot of things contrary to this, and I just want people to know that I'm very sincere in my beliefs. I pray every night, and I don't ask for much. I just say, "Thank you" all the time.

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

Happy Birthday, Prince Rogers Nelson!

 HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PRINCE!


You would have been 58 years old today.

You will always live in our hearts.



Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Prince and Morris Day, Part Two

More Prince-O-Rama!

This is "Tricky", Prince and Morris goofing around in the early days. So worth listening to! If this doesn't make you smile, you are in a coma.   It starts out with Morris, but that's Prince on the vocals, tearing Bootsy Collins a new one!


You can kinda see why.


At the end they refer to "Johnny," i.e. Johnny Carson, legendary host of The Tonight Show.

Here's the backstory from someone named madhouseman:

The song was recorded at Sunset Sound on Wednesday February 1, 1984 (drifting into the morning of Feb. 2). The session started at 7 PM. For 6 hours, Prince, Morris (I think you can also hear Jerome) and a few others goofed off in the studio. Prince was playing the bass (supposedly while wearing gloves) and keyboards, while Morris played the drums. They were supposedly singing about Bootsy Collins . It is obvious that Prince and Morris were having fun, so some of the tension they had during the recording of ICE CREAM CASTLE was behind them.   The funny thing is they were using studio 2, so they had to take a microphone down thru the main recording area, down the hall to the bathroom where the toilet flush had to be cued for the end of the song.





Ed McMahon, comedian Dom Deluise, Johnny Carson, 1976

R.I.P. Prince.... Prince and Morris Day, Part One

Ever since Prince's death in late April, I have been obsessively posting videos and pictures to my Facebook, Twitter and Live Journal accounts.  I couldn't even tell you why.

Then I remembered: I have a blog!  The perfect place to bring it all together!  So starting today, it's going to be PRINCE-O-RAMA around here!

There are fantastic pictures posted on Morris Day And The Time's Facebook page.  Along with Andre' Cymone, Morris and Prince were high school friends.  Here's just a few!






Here's Prince at COACHELLA in 2008, with Morris Day & The Time, and Sheila E.!



This is a MUST-READ article about Day, Prince, and their fractious relationship over the years, from the Guardian:  

Cult heroes: Morris Day – Purple Rain rival who almost stole Prince's thunder 

They came up together. Born in Minneapolis just six months apart, Morris Day and Prince Rogers Nelson played in their first band, Grand Central  later renamed Champagne, while still at high school. The band’s manager was Day’s mother. The duo’s relationship thereafter consisted of back-and-forth favours (and occasional fallings-out). Day wrote the song Partyup for Prince’s Dirty Mind album in 1980, and Prince brought Day in to replace Alexander O’Neal as lead singer of the Time.


Jeff and I saw "Purple Rain" when it first came out.  Then we saw it again recently at a midnight showing.  More about that in a later entry, which will also give me an excuse to post a buttload of videos.

Friday, January 22, 2016

Life's A Witch: Supernatural Review, 11x10, "The Devil In The Details"



Monday, January 4, 2016

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2015 was in many ways a fantastic year!

"Cervix With A Smile" GOT PUBLISHED!  I will love the folks at the Exit Press forever.









I did a lot of writing!

I PERFORMED FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS!  Last year's resolution was "perform once".  Achievable goals, folks.

We went to the Jersey Shore.  Fantastic weather, great swimming, and food, food, food.

A dear friend sent me a tin of homemade chocolate truffles, most of which have now been eaten.

Another dear friend went with me to my doctors' appointments and kept copious notes.

My first trip by myself, to Chicago, with a roomette on the train both ways.

I got to spend another year with my wonderful spouse.

2015 was in many ways a sucky year.

I started the new year in the psychiatric ward at Roosevelt Hospital.  Nothing says "Happy New Year!" than a paper poinsettia placement and a cupcake with blue frosting.  Then I spent several months with my brain not working quite right.

I got breast cancer.  That blew.

Our cat Rupert died.

I've gained weight, partly from eating most of the homemade chocolate truffles.  Actually, that's not really in the "sucky" column.

Bring on 2016.  I'm waiting for you, sucker.


Thursday, December 24, 2015

The Wonderful Chronicles - Just Wonderful

May 28, 2015

I went back for another mammogram and an ultrasound for my left breast.  They found two 'sites', for which I'll have to have a "core" biopsy.  Which can't take place until June 10th.  I completely fell apart at the clinic but I'm calmer now.  The doctor came in and talked to me, reassuring me but also explaining what a lumpectomy is. I was crying uncontrollably--I've never even had a needle biopsy.

"Did you bring someone with you?" he asked.

"N-no."

"Can you get home by yourself?" His demeanor suggested half-concern, half what-the-fuck-do-I-do-with-this-madwoman.  I gasped yest.

I want to get in sooner, but the doctor can only do 2 procedures a day (?) and so if he has one already booked, I make 3 procedures, so they can't get me in any sooner. SORRY TO INTERFERE WITH YOUR SCHEDULE, MOTHERFUCKER, IT'S ONLY MY FUCKING BREAST.  I'LL BE FINE, ASSHOLE.



In brighter news, I followed my doctor's advice to take a fuckton of ibuprofen for a few days, to ease the inflammation in my knees.  It seems to have worked.  They generally haven't hurt that much anyway.

I know many of you have had severe health problems, so this must seem like small potatoes. 

(A/N: Oops)

The Wonderful Chronicles - My Sorta Breast Cancer Journey

In May of this year, I discovered that there was a suspicious lump in my left breast.  Two, actually.

There's a history of breast cancer in my family.  Actually, a host of cancers.  So I knew it might happen eventually.  And when it did, I was pissed and scared.  So these are edited entries I made on a private blog.  I called them "The Wonderful Chronicles".

I wouldn't exactly call it my breast cancer journey.  It hasn't changed my life in any fundamental way so far.  Does that make me a bad cancer patient?  Am I not being noble enough??  Should I post photos of myself smiling boldly while wearing a head-scarf?  Even if I didn't go through chemo and I still have all of my hair?  Anyway, in the grand tradition of over-sharing, here we go.

May 23, 2015

It's Saturday, the first day of our three-day weekend. I got three letters from my doctors after a series of tests:

1) Blood work: mildly elevated bad cholesterol

2) I have arthritis in both knees

3) I have a suspicious growth in my breast.

I want to drown myself in the toilet.




Tuesday, December 22, 2015

For All Suffering Writers: Anne Lamott on "Shitty First Drafts"

Lately I've been reading a lot of posts, entries and tweets from my fellow writers in various stages of block, lack of inspiration, and despair. SO, to distract myself from actually writing, I'm giving you THIS:


Shitty First Drafts
Anne Lamott from Bird by Bird

Born in San Francisco in 1954, Anne Lamott is a graduate of Goucher College
in Baltimore and is the author of six novels, including Rosie (1983), Crooked Little Heart (1997), All New People (2000), and Blue Shoes (2002). In the following selection, taken from Lamott’s popular book about writing, Bird by Bird (1994):


1
Now, practically even better news than that of short assignments is the idea of shitty first drafts. All good writers write them. This is how they end up with good second drafts and terrific third drafts. Peop le tend to look at successful writers who are getting their books published and maybe even doing well financially and think that they sit down at their desks every morning feeling like a million dollars, feeling great about who they are and how much talent they have and what a great story they have to tell; that they take in a few deep breaths, push back their sleeves, roll their necks a few times to get all the cricks out, and dive in, typing fully formed passages as fast as a court reporter.



But this is just the fantasy of the uninitiated. I know some very great writers, writers you love who write beautifully and have made a great deal of money, and not one of them sits down routinely feeling wildly enthusiastic and confident. Not one of them writes elegant first drafts. All right, one of them does, but we do not like her very much. We do not think that she has a rich inner life or that God likes her or can even stand her. (Although when I mentioned this to my priest friend Tom, he said you can safely assume you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.)



2
Very few writers really know what they are doing until they've done it. Nor do they go about their business feeling dewy and thrilled. They do not type a few stiff warm-up sentences and then find themselves bounding along like huskies across the snow. One writer I know tells me that he sits down every morning and says to himself nicely, "It's not like you don't have a choice, because you do -- you can either type, or kill yourself." We all often feel like we are pulling teeth, even those writers whose prose ends up being the most natural and fluid. The right words and sentences just do not come pouring out like ticker tape most of the time. Now, Muriel Spark is said to have felt that she was taking dictation from God every morning -- sitting there, one supposes, plugged into a Dictaphone, typing away, humming. But this is a very hostile and aggressive position. One might hope for bad things to rain down on a person like this.

3
For me and most of the other writers I know, writing is not rapturous. In fact, the only way I can get anything written at all is to write really, really shitty first drafts.

4
The first draft is the child's draft, where you let it all pour out and then let it romp all over the place, knowing that no one is going to see it and that you can shape it later. You just let this childlike part of you channel whatever voices and visions come through and onto the page. If one of the characters wants to say, "Well, so what, Mr. Poopy Pants?," you let her. No one is going to see it. If the kid wants to get into really sentimental, weepy, emotional territory, you let him.

Sedate me

Just get it all down on paper because there may be something great in those six crazy pages that you would never have gotten to by more rational, grown-up means. There may be something in the very last line of the very last paragraph on page six that you just love, that is so beautiful or wild that you now know what you're supposed to be writing about, more or less, or in what direction you might go -- but there was no way to get to this without first getting through the first five and a half pages.

5
I used to write food reviews for California magazine before it folded. (My writing food reviews had nothing to do with the magazine folding, although every single review did cause a couple of canceled subscriptions. Some readers took umbrage at my comparing mounds of vegetable puree wi \th various ex-presidents' brains.) These reviews always took two days to write. First I'd go to a restaurant several times with a few opinionated, articulate friends in tow. I'd sit there writing down everything anyone said that was at all interesting or funny.

Then on the following Monday I'd sit down at my desk with my notes and try to write the review. Even after I'd been doing this for years, panic would set in. I'd try to write a lead, but instead I'd write a couple of dreadful sentences, XX them out, try again, XX everything out, and then feel despair and worry settle on my chest like an x-ray apron. It's over, I'd think calmly. I'm not going to be able to get the magic to work this time. I'm ruined. I'm through. I'm toast. Maybe, I'd think, I can get my old job back as a clerk-typist. But probably not. I'd get up and study my teeth in the mirror for a while. Then I'd stop, remember to breathe, make a few phone calls, hit the kitchen and chow down.

6.
Eventually I'd go back and sit down at my desk, and sigh for the next ten minutes. Finally I would pick up my one-inch picture frame, stare into it as if for the answer, and every time the answer would come: all I had to do was to write a really shitty first draft of, say, the opening paragraph. And no one was going to see it.

So I'd start writing without reining myself in. It was almost just typing, just making my fingers move. And the writing would be terrible. I'd write a lead paragraph that was a whole page, even though the entire review could only be three pages long, and then I'd start writing up descriptions of the food, one dish at a time, bird by bird, and the critics would be sitting on my shoulders, commenting like cartoon characters. They'd be pretending to snore, or rolling their eyes at my overwrought descriptions, no matter how hard I tried to tone those descriptions down, no matter how conscious I was of what a friend said to me gently in my early days of restaurant reviewing. "Annie," she said, "it is just a piece of chicken. It is just a bit of cake ."



7
But because by then I had been writing for so long, I would eventually let myself trust the process -- sort of, more or less. I'd write a first draft that was maybe twice as long as it should be, with a self-indulgent and boring beginning, stupefying descriptions of the meal, lots of quotes from my black-humored friends that made them sound more like the Manson girls than food lovers, and no ending to speak of.

The whole thing would be so long and incoherent and hideous that for the rest of the day I'd obsess about getting creamed by a car before I could write a decent second draft. I'd worry that people would read what I'd written and believe that the accident had really been a suicide, that I had panicked because my talent was waning and my mind was shot.

8
The next day, I'd sit down, go through it all with a colored pen, take out everything I possibly could, find a new lead somewhere on the second page, figure out a kicky place to end it, and then write a second draft. It always turned out fine, sometimes even funny and weird and helpful. I'd go over it one more time and mail it in.

9
Then, a month later, when it was time for another review, the whole process would start again, complete with the fears that people would find my first draft before I could rewrite it.

Head in microwave

10
Almost all good writing begins with terrible first efforts. You need to start somewhere. Start by getting something -- anything -- down on paper. A friend of mine says that the first draft is the down draft -- you just get it down. The second draft is the up draft -- you fix it up. You try to say what you have to say more accurately. And the third draft is the dental draft, where you check every tooth, to see if it's loose or cramped or decayed, or even, God help us, healthy.

Thursday, December 17, 2015

Sorry About Being AWOL

I've been busy lately.  That, and "Supernatural" has been sucking too much to write about it.

Friday, October 23, 2015

The Bad Script: Supernatural Review, Season 11 Episode 3, "The Bad Seed"

When star Jensen Ackles directs an episode, fans go into a frenzy of anticipation.  "Weekend At Bobby's" was one of the best episodes of the sixth season.  However, what's a director to do when he's working with a script written by Eugenie Ross-Leming and Brad Buckner?  The show might as well tied a rock around Ackles's neck and tossed him into the bay.  The episode is well done and there are some nice moments, but you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's anus.

Remember Demon Dean and how tasty that arc was, but it only lasted three episodes?  This season, it's Castiel and the attack spell, which isn't at all tasty and only lasts three episodes.  "Supernatural" has completely run out of ideas, so it recycles the old ones over and over.  Sometimes almost word for word. It's become the "Law & Order" of genre shows.  Nothing too unsettling, nice and comfortable.

The guys have so much fun at conventions, and no doubt they're making a shitload of money and drinking and saying swear words.  Then back to the old grind.  It shows.

THEN: 

Rowena turns Castiel into the world's least convincing attack dog; evil baby; the Darkness murmurs at Dean; Crowley makes off with Amara/The Darkness; of course angel torture since there won't be any torture this episode (insert joke here).

NOW:

Rowena lights a red candle and summons the last of the Grand Coven.  She announces that they will be the Mega Coven!  *snort*  She's so goofily enthusiastic about the name.  "Ah'm a forse ah nay-cher!" she announces later.  Has anyone else noticed all of her spells are Latin words that sound funny?

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"I'm here to provide the only fun in this episode."

"The Bad Seed" was originally a movie in the 1950s, starring Patty McCormack as an angelic child who was actually a murderous maniac.  McCormack guest-starred in season 8's "Heartache."

spn_803 Patty McCormack 2


spn_803 Patty McCormack

Here's the thing--the best scenes are between Crowley and Amara, but they're stuffed with exposition and foreshadowing.  So much foreshadowing that Crowley comes off as a complete moron who can't see that The Darkness is totally uninterested in being evil or bonding with "Uncle Crowley".  By the end of the episode she's a testy teenager who demands, "FEED ME SEYMOUR".

We start in the bunker with Team Free Will.  Cas has  a blanket around him and occasionally sniffles and grunts to indicate the attack spell.  "It's getting worse," Sam mutters, referring to Cas's acting.  The effect of standing around being useless for three seasons is that Misha Collins has forgotten how to act.  Crazy Dangerous is clearly not in his toolbox.

Not only that, Castiel has a seizure.  Nobody should do seizures but Jared Padalecki.  He is the champion of seizures.

They exposition that  Metatron would know about the Darkness, being the Scribe and all.  I perk up.  METATRON!  I LOVE METATRON!  I might even watch an episode with Metatron.

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Sam and Dean debate using Cas as a bouncy castle.

Sam ties tracking down accidents involving Cas's "crappy car."  Insulted, Cas asks, "You think it's crappy?" "Eye of the beholder," Dean answers. *snort*

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"Who are you?"
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"I'm you when you learn to tame those unruly curls.  And then take over the world."

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Crowley tries to bond with Amara.  She is so obviously not having it.

Amara: God made a world where people have to suffer and then they die. But frankly, why would they want to live in such a world?
Crowley's all for the world becoming evil, but when she balks, he backs down.
Crowley: Actually, now I come to think of it, if everyone was dark and damned, it wouldn’t be much of a challenge. Watching a human reject the light and embrace depravity, yes, well, that’s where the gratification really is. It never gets old.
Amara: Good, evil, Heaven, Hell, people. It all seems so unimportant. (A/N: Uh-oh!)

Amara looks sad. I'm calling it now:  Amara is going to make the world over in her image rather than God's, which for some reason will be a terrible thing.  Perhaps lots more of nothing, so the whole world can be "peaceful".

In a repeat of a Season 5 scene when Zacharia bitches with an unknowing human about their crappy bosses, an angel and demon sit in a bar, bitching about their crappy bosses.  They talk about the lower ranks banding together and taking charge.  Who knows if that will be followed through? Or will it fall into the deep cavern of Dropped Plot Points?  Along with the Frankensteins, the escaped Thule, the bottles of souls all over the country--wait, couldn't Crowley find those and let Amara gulp them down?  Darkness fast food!

Sam and Dean find Rowena, handcuff her and convince her to remove the spell from Castiel.  This is a good thing in so many ways.

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WHY DID WE ONLY GET FIVE SECONDS OF THIS?

There's a dungeon scene, more exposition, of course Castiel has broken free, because captives ALWAYS break free on this show.  Except Crowley.

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Rowena is well aware she's the only entertaining part of this episode and overplays accordingly.

They go on the hunt for Castiel, who's lumbering like Frankenstein's monster, and snarling.  Jensen, are you pranking your co-star for our enjoyment?  'Cause it's working.

spn_1103 8
In which we discover the limits of Misha Collins's acting ability.

I don't know why director Ackles lets his co-star look so ridiculous, even if they were forced to do the 30,000th iteration of the "chasing random chick down an alley" scene.  Grunting, wheezing, lumbering, smashing a box for no reason, running after a random girl down an alley...it's pretty damn funny.  Random Chick pulls open the door to--what else--an empty warehouse.  For some reason Cas can't get the door open and Bangs Menacingly on it.  SUSPENSE! 

Castiel and Dean relive the smackdown in S5.  "Namaste!" Rowena commands.  Cas drops to the floor and has a seizure, once again taking over Sam's job.  "Conquistador!" she cries and the metal gate closes.

Back at the bunker.

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"Let me love you!"
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"No, you messed with the pretty.  I need to sulk."
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"You two are adorable.  Seriously."

RANDOM

In Season 4, Zacharia said "God has left the building!" In Season 5, not only is there talk of the Apocalypse not being the first time God has given a "planetary enema" but also Joshua, the tender of the Garden of Eden, tells the Winchesters God feels that the Apocalypse is "not his problem".  So why should God give a fuck now?  Does God even exist?

Why is Crowley still in a men's room?

NEXT WEEK

The Impala.