Duck Dynasty: Review, Supernatural 10x21, "Dark Dynasty:

Eugenie Ross-Leming and Brad Buckner continue their soul-destroying run of terribly written episodes with "Dark Dynasty," sloppily directed by Bob Singer.




Basic rundown: Sam lies to Dean about book.  Actors with bad Southern accents have dumb conversation laden with "menace" that somehow reminds me of those cheap little cheese n' crackers you get at Gas n' Sips. Cut (literally) to the chase - the Dark Dynasty is the family of--dun dun dun--FRANKENSTEIN!

Oh, for fuck's sake.


Sam feels your pain


Can you believe this cheesy plot?
If we're German, why do we have these terrible Southern accents?


Because Bob Singer is pussy-whipped

Sam lies to Dean, gulping and twitching and holding up small signs that say, I'M LYING YOU IDIOT COULD I BE MORE OBVIOUS.


His lies are so bad they have flattened his hair

While Sam is conveniently in another room, one of the Frankensteins tells Dean the Book of the Damned is indestructable.  Jensen Ackles tries to look like he cares.


Wow, man, I'm destroyed inside.  Or not.

Aside: every time I hear it, Dean shouting "Charlie has the damned Book of The Damned?" it gets funnier.  And more annoying.  Couldn't they have left the first "damned" out?  Oh, wait, Eugenie Ross-Leeming and Brad Buckner.

Sam has gathered Rowena, Cas and Charlie into the Abandoned Brewery of Doom to crack the code of the code of the code of the Book of the Damned.  Rowena is the only enjoyable part of this, so I'm going to skip the rest.  Might as well tell you now, Charlie ends up dead.  No real reason.  She just ends up dead.  Robbie Thompson sobs in the corner.  But, you know, executive producer's wife.  So there.


One of us is gonna die, and it ain't gonna me.
They're saving you for the season finale.
Well, shit.


Rowena realizes that she's an older woman and an interesting character, so she's probably next.
Well, shit.



Meanwhile, to give Mark Sheppard something to do, Crowley talks to a hamster and learns that his mother had a demon lover  I mean whatever who cares how are you going to shoehorn that into the next two episodes maybe it was that Nazi necromancer that got away two seasons ago the dart thing is funny.

For no other reason than to get killed, Charlie needs to be alone.  Rather than wait until Cas does the obligatory leave-the-room-while-someone-escapes gambit (already done once in this episode) to chain up Rowena elsewhere, Charlie bolts to a motel.  The Frankensteins find her, she uploads a file and presumably sends it to Sam, they break down the door and...


Dean's grossed out.  I'm too busy thinking about how hot Sam looks with wet hair.


So, that happened, as the kids say.

This plot was like a huge pile of cafe chairs badly stacked up.  Strange metaphor, but I've seen piles of cafe chairs so I know what I'm talking about.


Jensen echoes my feelings

Twitter explodes, FEELS all over the place.

Random thoughts:

Those Microsoft Surface product placements are getting out of hand.

The Frankensteins caused the plague?  Seriously?  Seriously?

We need Lucifer to show up and bitch-slap some sense into the family.

And why wouldn't Crowley know about them?  Haven't any of the Stynes shown up in Hell over the last few millenia?

Where does Rowena go to the bathroom?  And what was up with that tiny piles of bones on the table that were never referenced again?

Will Charlie come back as a Frankenstein-type monster?  That would be cool.  Or an evil spirit that Rowena turned her into?  Bueller? Bueller?

Next week: it's the penultimate episode, there's 10,000 badly laid out side-plots, Dean is still too reasonable for anyone to be that concerned about him, and stuff will happen all over the place.

Wee! Winchester! Supernatural Review: 10x12, "About A Boy"

Last Tuesday, I had an interesting experience.  The night "About A Boy," written by Adam Glass and directed by DP Serge Ladouceur aired, I liked it, especially Leslie Nicol's hammy glee as the Witch.  Then I went on Twitter, and jumped into the negativity and forgot that I'd liked it.  There was so much freaking out.  So on to rewatch the next day.

It is so much fun. Sam doesn't resort to his copy of The Fountainhead!  Not once!  He leaves it back at the bunker!  There is a strong woman character who doesn't die!

THEN:  Montage of witch stuff, and that sorta-crappy episode where Dean's at the boy's home.

NOW:  A drunk named JP is thrown out of a bar.  He's going to his car, but a huge scar-faced guy intercepts, squeezes a hex bag, huge flash of light.  A homeless guy who's seen the whole thing stares up into the sky.

PICSPAM!

Montage of Dean reading tribal tattoo books, looking at tattoo removal websites, generally being bummed about the MOC.  Sam comes into Dean's room wearing the Ugly Shirt of Doom (seriously, that thing needs to be burned, and what is it with pearl buttons on almost all of Sam's clothes?) and tells Dean they've got a case.


Don't make me tuck this shirt in, Dean.

The brothers Winchester drive to the town where JP disappeared.  A homeless guy is convinced it's aliens (prizes to whichever makeup person made those yellow/bloody teeth).  Dean goes into the bar while Sam goes to JP's apartment.

In the bar, Dean has his first strong drink of the post-hiatus.  The Mark starts to throb, but a comely blonde, Tina (Kehli O'Byrne), starts talking to him about JP.  Soon, they are sitting at a table, a couple of companionable drunks.  Dean tells a great story about learning how to make macaroni and cheese dozens of different ways, including Marshmallow Fluff (ack!).  "Sam thought it was exotic."  AND WE GET THIS GREAT SMILE!


It's like staring into the sun

She leaves, and Scarface gets her in the parking lot.  Dean runs after him, bright light, flash...Dean finds himself in the dusty basement of an old house, trapped.  In the next room is Tina, also de-aged (Madeleine Arthur, in another marvelous performance).  Dean looks at himself in the mirror and does a perfect "sonovabitch!".

Sam comes to the bar, looking for Dean.  He hears the phone ring, and sees the bartender turning it off, along with poking into Dean's jacket.  When Sam asks him where he got it, the bartender smart-mouths him, and we get THIS



Do NOT piss off protective Sam!

Sam smashes the guy's head into the bar.  BAMF Sam!!  By the dumpster, he finds Dean's shoe and gun, covered with flower dust.

In the motel, Sam hears a knock, and has to bend nearly double to look through the peephole.  He opens the door to find Teen!Dean (Dylan Everett).

Dylan Everett has been widely praised for his portrayal of 36-year-old Jensen Ackles.  Brown eyes aside, it's uncanny.  His scenes with Jared Padalecki are hilarious.  And Padalecki seems invigorated by working with a different actor.  Throughout the episode, the brotherly banter is spot-on.


Dean, you've got brown eyes!

Teen!Dean (or Little Dean, as I call him) gets in the drivers seat and adjusts Baby's front seat, smashing Sam's knees into the dashboard.  Sam drives.


And you thought the lack of seat belts was a problem.

You've read all of the other review/recaps, so I'm going to make this quick.  The scene between Little Dean and Sam is perfect.  Dylan Everett is so good as Dean, I forgot at moments it was a different actor.  And the dialogue was delicious. Dean confesses, “There was a Taylor Swift song on the bus that I hopped to the motel and I liked it, Sam. I liked it a lot.”


It's no longer like staring into the sun

Litltle Dean: “There’s some good news, though: virgin liver. So what’d you say when we’re done doing our hero thing, we take it for a test drive." Sam:“Yeah, sure. I mean, you can drink again in what, like seven years?" Little Dean: “That’s not funny." Sam: “That’s kind of funny." They get to the house where Little Tina is trapped. Dean slides into the basement window, and tells Sam to follow.

Sam: “Dude, I’m way too big to fit in that." Little Dean: “First time you ever had to say that, huh?" Sam: “Big talk coming from the dude wearing Underoos."

Let's just race through the story.  Hansel (Mark Acheson) of Hansel and Gretel fame (boy, did he grow up fugly) works for the witch of the story.  He has a hex bag that turns adults into kids when he squeezes it.  That last sentence sounds like something out of the kind of fan-fiction I avoid reading.

He grabs Little Dean, who can't break his grip because...well, he's little. Sam clocks Hansel on the back of the head and yells, "DON'T!" when Hansel starts to get up.


Even de-aged, Dean knows how to handle a flashlight!

Witch is de-aging adults because in the USA, people notice when children disappear. Dean and Sam make a deal with Hansel to take down the Witch.  They go to her kitchen, mayhem ensues, Sam gets thrown into a wall,


After seeing this, I will never take Downton Abbey seriously.
"Shit, not AGAIN..."

Dean grabs the hex bag, squeezes it, becomes an adult, shoves the hex bag into the Witch's mouth, and shoves her into the huge oven.

Afterward, Little Tina decides she wants to stay an emancipated minor.  "A second chance," she calls it.  Dean looks like he wants to stab himself in the face.


"You guys know how to make fake IDs, right?"

After seeing off Tina on a bus, the Winchesters get into Baby, Dean turns on the radio.  Taylor Swift's "Shake It Off" is playing.  To Sam's horrified disbelief, Dean listens happily as they drive into the sunset.


Sam is horrified.  Twitter has a seizure.

I loved BAMF Sam, although my pleasure was diminished when he was once again thrown into the wall and can't up.  I understand why Dean had to kill the Witch, but it was too bad Sam was too busy licking the floor to help.

Random thoughts:

Many Twitter users went batshit over the use of the Taylor Swift song.  Guys, it's a JOKE. And a good joke!

Sam leaving The Fountainhead in the bunker makes me ridiculously happy.

It felt like an old-school MOTW episode.

Tonight:  I have no idea.  I haven't watched the promos.  Too busy.

We're Off To Kill The Wizard: Review, Supernatural 10x11, "There's No Place Like Home"

In recent months, Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles have been working the convention circuit relentlessly.   Videos of the panels show them having fun, cracking each other up, dancing, etc.



Video from SF Con 2015 courtesy of Shaunae Perry

"Y'all are the reason we're here," Jared says at every panel, and I'm starting to wonder if he doesn't mean the amounts J2 get paid to show up at these events.  Then they come to work and it's as if they're too tired and hungover to care.

The contrast between Jared in the show and Jared on the stage...does he even care any more?   Guest stars and series regulars with family issues are taking up the slack.  The show is only nominally about the Winchesters.  The credits should read: "Special Guest Stars: Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles".

This egregious pile of crap was shoveled on us by Robbie Thompson (who wrote the other episode about Oz, "Slumber Party") and directed by Phil Sgriccia.  It's as if the show reached out of the television and vomited directly into my brain.

THEN: A montage of Charlie Bradbury, adorably nerdy lesbian with mad computer skills and at times teeth-gratingly cute.  A montage from "Slumber Party," ending with Charlie and Dorothy going down the yellow brick road to fight a war in Oz.  Montage of Mark of Cain!Dean being murderous.  Oh, goody!  He's going to kill somebody again!  WOO-HOO!

NOW: Exterior of house, crashing noises and shouts.  A man in a bathrobe, hands bound, face bloody, tears ass out of his house.  He lands on the lawn where a dark figure looms about him.  It's--Charlie in black!  "Who doesn't love a little torture," she purrs and out!

We're in the bunker, where research!Sammy is looking for the lore on the Mark which we've already been told doesn't exist.  Hello...how about THE BIBLE?  Instead, having finished Catcher In The Rye, he's moved on to The Fountainhead. Dean is preventing the MOC from taking over by gagging down white-egg omelets, 8 hours of "rack time," every night, and no drinking.


"Dude, you will not believe how shitty this episode is gonna be."
"Do I have dialogue?"
"A few lines. Nothing you can't read off a cue card."
"Fine by me."

These tidbits are by far the best part of the episode, particularly when Dean tries to eat a wrap and says, "What the hell is kale?" No clever retort by Sam, he's busy reading The Fountainhead and trying to make sense of Ayn Rand's worldview.

Sam finds a police report of two torture/assaults in Topeka, with a video of Bad Charlie beating the crap out of a local district district attorney.  They interview the DA...actually, Sam exposits and Dean goes MOC on his ass, crunching his broken arm to get the name of a prosecutor.  Sam stands by and gulps.  Which is pretty much all he does for the next hour, except for reading The Fountainhead and providing exposition.

They get to the woman's house to find Bad Charlie holding a knife to a woman's throat.  Charlie says that Sam is "all good guy code and no bite."

WHAT THE FUCK?  SAM DRANK DEMON BLOOD! HE'S KILLED DOZENS OF PEOPLE!  HE WAS LUCIFER! WHO IS THIS GIANT ROBOT?

She calls Sam a "giant albatross around your neck".  When did this become a trope?


"I get to act all mean and shit!"


Aaaand there goes Sam's last attempt at dialogue.

Sam dutifully stays behind while Dean runs after Charlie. They have the tussle we've seen in the promos, then Charlie speeds off in the Impala. A moment later, a bright yellow car pulls up, and it's Charlie. "What's new, bitches?"  It's Good Charlie!

The three have a drink in a bar.  It seems that Bad Charlie resulted when the Wizard of Oz used the key of Oz to open Charlie up and let her Id go free.  Bad Charlie single-handedly won the war in Oz (oh, for cryin' out loud) blah bah Good Charlie can feel everything Bad Charlie does blah they escaped to our world blah blah key to Oz blah blah blah.  At some point Charlie says something about "we all have a dark side" or "we all have some monster in us" or "Geez, Dean, that Mark is fucking you up". That anvil broke my toes.  Dean, do us all a favor and kill both of them, okay?

Charlie shows Sam how to hack into a guy's bank account somebody drive steel nails into my brain blah blah blah Dean goes to protect guy who's going to be killed blah blah Bad Charlie shows up and convinces Dean to stand thirty feet away from the door while she goes in to "talk" her victim.  Guess what? She slams the door!  She kills the guy!  Dean's retarded!  I don't care!


Dean's thinking her butt's looking mighty fine in those pants.

Yet ANOTHER surviving Man of Letters is somewhere--wasn't there a massacre at some point?  No, I don't remember either.

Blah blah old man is alter-ego of Wizard blah blah broken key of Oz they drive out somewhere old man denies being some old man who is also the MOL/Wizard/Good Guy...old guy shoots himself so Bad Guy/Wizard of Oz has to show up.  Why hadn't this happened before, say, when the old guy cut him using a can opener?

Green light!


This is just in here because Sam looks so damn hot.

Wind blows!  Stuff shatters!  It's going to be EPIC!  THE WIZARD OF OZ IS COMING!


What...what...


You know it's bad cosplay when the headpiece is made out of cardboard

THIS is the Great And Powerful Wizard of Oz?  Some anonymous dick in an embroidered overcoat?  No magical powers?  What?


"Dude, I've got like, this really hella great Goth band--"

Blah blah Sam tied up with magical rope blah blah I have no idea what's going on and I don't give a shit blah  blah.  The only good part is that Dean runs after Bad Charlie and proceeds to beat the life out of her while she dialogues all kinds of bad-guy taunts.  We see Good Charlie writhing in pain when Dean goes MOC on Bad Charlie.  Is it sick that I really, really wanted to find some good screencaps of Dean smashing Bad Charlie's face?

Old Guy gives Good Charlie significant look and points at his gun.  In any other episode this would make the villain kick the gun out of reach, but we're running low on time here.  Good Charlie shoots Old Guy, killing the Wizard at the same time.


Crazed Dean thinks he killed Charlie.


She's still alive.  Which means she'll be back. Dang.

Good/Bad Charlie morph into Original Flavor Charlie.There's a sweet moment where Sam cradles her as she weeps.  Meanwhile Dean looks on doing what he does best, dying of guilt.



Back at the bunker, it's two days later, and the Mark has worked it's most wondrous magic of all--Dean still looks like he's had the shit pounded out of him.  Usually the Winchester's wounds insta-heal, even when Castiel isn't around to heal them.  This is honestly great.  The messed up face adds to his look of guilt, especially when he sees Charlie's equally messed-up face and broken arm.



But!  They've found a book from Tuscany that might lead to important information about the Mark!  Charlie's going to Tuscany to find out what it is!

Say again?

Shouldn't Sam be doing this?  Mad research skills Sammy?  Fighting for his brother Sammy?  But honestly, he's digging The Fountainhead and Howard Roark and the chick smashing the vase because it's beautiful and--


Don't worry, Jensen, we've got a convention in San Pedro this weekend.

Random Thoughts

Now we know what Sam's storyline is: worrying about Dean. Gulping. Standing around.  Meanwhile, Jared's thinking about his sons' college fund.  I can't think of any other explanation.

Felicia Day did a good job playing all three flavors of Charlie.  I was so disappointed when she became the "real" Charlie again, because that Charlie needs to never come back.

Next week: Dean's turned into a teenager.  Hilarity ensues, especially when teen Dean discovers the Mark is a chick magnet.

Screencaps by screencapped.net

Starting With This Episode: Review, Supernatural S10 E9, "The Things We Leave Behind"

After last year's mid-season finale, "Holy Terror," I was a sobbing mess. Even though there were plot holes and messiness, Gadreel killing Kevin and then leaving after telling Dean his brother was gone, OMG DEAN CRYING IT KILLED ME.

This season's mid-season finale?  Meh.  Really meh.  Written by Andrew Dabb and directed by Guy Norman Bee, "Things We Leave Behind" was a great example of being out of ideas and sloppy writing.

Even though I should know better than to take the promos seriously, I foolishly looked forward to MOC Dean making a reappearance.  One of the unpleasant effects of watching the promos is seeing the footage in context, causing both disappointment and anger.  The laughing diabolically?  Dean laughing (badly) at the Three Stooges.  Dean in a room strewn full of dead bodies?  A dream sequence.  Fuck you, Warner Brothers promo hacks.

Like last week, most of the episode did not involve the Winchesters.  Unlike last week, the A-plot was a derivative, dull, badly written rehash of any typical Law & Order: SVU but without Olivia.  I like Olivia.  Olivia would be kick-ass...sorry, my mind wandered.  When you start thinking Olivia Benson could kick the Winchesters's collective asses, that is NOT a good sign.

We start with a repeat of the opener of "Annie Alex Alexis Anne," with an angry teenager being pulled down an antiseptic hall and locked up.  Only this time it's Claire Novak, Jimmy's daughter, and instead of juvie, it's a group home.  The door opens, and Castiel enters, looking adorable.  He looked so adorable during this episode that I didn't hear how bad the dialogue was until rewatch.  Claire is righteously pissed.


"It's because of YOU that I have this ridiculous hairstyle!"

Cas wants to apologize, not realizing the humans can hold major grudges.  Claire has every right to be homicidal.  Her father is dead (answering the question of what happened to Jimmy).  Her mother ran off to "find herself," although that makes no sense given that when we last saw them, Claire and her mom were probably going to be found and tortured by demons.  I would have had an easier time with the notion that Mrs. Novak handed Claire a lunchbox, put her on her grandmother's doorstep and said "see ya!", roaring off in a car to live with a far-away Incan tribe.  That makes no sense, but neither does Castiel busting her out and them awkwardly bonding.  SHE'S LOOKING AT HER DEAD FATHER'S FACE!  SHE SHOULD BE CURLED UP IN THE FETAL POSITION, WHIMPERING!  Fuck you, Supernatural.

Meanwhile, at the bunker, Jensen Ackles is demonstrating an actor's truism: it's easy to cry, but incredibly hard to laugh.  I offer as evidence:


Doesn't it look more like someone bit down on his penis? 

He's watching the Three Stooges.  Sam joins him, giving Dean a grilled cheese sandwich.  Dean is ravenous.  He eats during the entire episode.  Usually the warning is: DEAN IS NOT EATING THAT CHEESEBURGER.  Now?  Not even kapok is safe.  Sam gives him an uneasy glance, and goes back to reading The Catcher In The Rye, which he's been meaning to get to for years.  What?  It's more interesting than what he's actually (not) doing.

Cas summons the Winchesters when Claire steals his wallet and takes off.  Claire is not an emergency.  “An emergency is a dead body or a wigged-out angel or the apocalypse, take 3.” I agree, Dean, let's blow this hot dog stand.  No?  Shit.


The reason Sam's hair is so godawful is that they hope you'll be distracted by that and not by his absence from the script.


Castiel and Claire say stuff.  Doesn't matter what.

Castiel and Claire do above-mentioned bonding, then Claire and her awful hairdo are gone with the wind.  She runs back to some dude in glasses named Randy, who manages to have not only no personality, but a degree of minus personality which is quite impressive.  He owes loan sharks, there's a kid in a Weiner Hut outfit, blah blah blah.  Bad Randy asks Claire to knock over a liquor store.



Meanwhile, in Mildly Interesting Land, Crowley talks to Rowena, his mother.  It's a lame scene. Prior to letting her out, Crowley bitches to Gerald (a demon I love, which means he's dead meat):
“She was a horrible mother. Did I tell you the time she almost traded me for three pigs? Three! I was an attractive child, I could juggle. I was worth five pigs at least.”

Once Rowena appears, however, the dialogue takes a downward turn.  She left him when he was eight!  Poor widdle Crowley.  That's the best the show could come up with?  Abandonment issues?  Gerald has a MUCH better issue with his mother--she burned him with cigarettes.  Definite points to Gerald.  Get over it, Crowley, you little pussy.  The only good moment is Rowena admitting that Crowley was conceived during a winter solstice orgy.

Another thing: why is Hell so chintzy? I'm inclined to think there have been some major budget cuts on this show, probably to pay The Flash budget.  That show looks amazing.


The grip on the set wrote this dialogue.

Gerald takes her back, then decides for no good reason to kill her.  Damn it!  Crowley asks him mother to join him.  Didn't this show used to star two brothers?


Good-bye Gerald.  You would have made a good sidekick.

Castiel and the Winchesters repair to a tiki bar.  Dean's voice is so low Jensen Ackles is going to need a larynx transplant.  They talk about fathers; Dean tells a funny anecdote about going to a club when underage and his father dragging him out.  But when I'm hoping Dean will repeat (from "Dream A Little Dream") that his father was an obsessed bastard, Dean sings his praises, joined by Sam.  Fuck you, John Winchester.

Bad Randy has been cornered by the loan-sharks, led by a stereotype in a leather jacket and gold chains.  Stereotype demands Randy pay back or else.  Bad Randy hands over Claire.  Stereotype takes Claire upstairs for the obligatory near-rape scene.  We know she won't be raped because this isn't Law & Order: SVU, which I don't even watch but I'm beginning to think I should.

She fights back, but Castiel blasts open the door and takes Claire.  Castiel, Sam and...um...Dean?  Aren't you leaving, Dean?


Sam is only thinking of his copy of Catcher In The Rye that he left in the car

The Stereotype and his gang beat up Dean.  Why isn't Sam in there?  "Holden Caulfield, you poor misunderstood kid. I get you, man."  The Stereotype doesn't realize beating the shit out of a guy who used to be a demon? Not a good idea.  Sam stops reading Catcher In The Rye when he hears the commotion inside.



Look, Dean!  Sometimes dreams DO come true!

Sam, freaked, begs Dean to tell Sam he had no choice.  No can do, says Dean's expression.

So, after slogging through the previous hour, there are two good minutes at the end.


Jeez, Jared's hands are as big as Jensen's head!

Random Thoughts:

I can't help it.  When the guys bond or reminisce, they look too old to be in this universe.  They make self-referential jokes about it. It makes me uncomfortable.

Wouldn't it have been twenty times as cool if Sam came in, jumped his brother, and restrained him the way he and Cas did last season?  Wouldn't it be cool if Sam had done...anything?  Fuck you, Jeremy Carver.

Next year: Dean goes off the deep end, Charlie re-appears, and Metatron is back!  I love Metatron.  He is such a joyous asshole.  Even if everything rapidly turns to shit, Metatron will be fun to watch.

Review, Supernatural Season 10, Episode 8, "Hibbing 911"

"Hibbing 911," written by Jenny Klein and directed by Tim Andrews, is a light, entertaining comedy involving an odd-couple of female sheriffs. Kim Rhodes and Brianna Buckmaster have real chemistry as no-bullshit Jody Mills and ray-of-sunshine Donna. 

Unfortunately, the episode also has the Winchester brothers. They are real wet blankets. Honestly, they are useless except to remind us at the end that the Mark of Cain is screwing up Dean. Not as badly as it did last season, but hey, we couldn't have more than a couple of episodes as a crazed demon, could we? I sure could have. Damn, they are boring. They might have been neutered, for all I know. (Note to self: never watch an early season episode before writing one of these.)

 Sam gets knocked out in every fight, the brothers get tied up, they do NOTHING inspired to mess up the monsters. Do they even bother with story boards, or they just xerox the same one over and over? When Sam was possessed by Gadreel, he had some pretty impressive fights, including when he and a demon crashed through a glass door, or when he was thrown into a clothes closet. Now, as I mentioned in my previous review, one punch and he's out. Come ON!! I hate to bring up early seasons, but...BAMF Sam, Research Sam, snarky to his brother Sam, angry Sam...I miss Sam.

Meanwhile, the Mark of Cain seems to have changed its power from Dean needing to kill to Dean needing to rub his arm once in a while and be kind of tense. Honestly, I don't have anything else to say about this episode.

Sheriff Jody Mills arrives at a Sheriffs' Retreat. She doesn't want to be there, in part because she's worried about leaving her former vampire daughter, Alex. One of the best running gags is Sheriff Mills arguing with Alex over the phone about not throwing a kegger in her surrogate mother's absence.

Once she gets there, she is greeted by an overpowering dose of sweetness in the form of Sheriff Donna, first seen last season in "Purge".

Donna's ex-husband, Doug, is also there.  Jody is partnered with Donna for the weekend. Jody can't get over how masochistic Donna is about her ex-husband. They sit at the bar, and Donna looks into the next room, where Doug is dancing with a pretty sheriff. Jody: “Honestly Donna, I just met the guy, but Doug seems like kind of a dick." Donna: “But he was my dick."

When Dean and Sam arrive, in their Fed suits, Jody gives Dean a hug, but saves the real juice for Sam--as who wouldn't?

"Don't mind us, we're contractually obligated to be here."
"But this episode would be so much better if you weren't!"
"Sorry, no can do."

Dean: “How’s Alex holding up?" Jody: “Awesome, already head of the cheer-leading squad." Sam: “Wow, really?" Jody: “No Sam, she smokes grass under the bleachers. But at least she’s not luring men to their deaths."

The plot: a group of vampires (who, for reasons unknown because it certainly wasn't necessary), eat all of the victims' flesh off their bones. What the fuck? Just go with it, if the people in charge don't care, why should I? Even if in the previous episode where Jody rescued Alex from her vampire family, they stuck close to the established lore?

Sam and Dean show up, Donna sees what she thinks is her boss killing someone, they all get caught and tied up in a barn...what? Oh, excuse me, I fell asleep.

Dean frees himself and goes wild on a couple of vamps, and Donna beheads the head vamp, an annoying teenager who's thousands of years old but never learned not to stop whining.

Donna has seen her sheriff friend with vamp teeth. And now needs a change of pants

"Donna, I understand.  I too once needed a change of pants."

 

Sam dutifully lets himself be knocked out by somebody smaller...again.

Meet the world's most annoying vampire

"Oh, crap, the writers think I'm Sam!"

Look! Even when he moves, that hair ain't going anywhere!

"I'm fine! The Mark of Cain isn't screwing with me at all! No, my nose isn't growing!"

"Gee, Dean, well...okay...it would be more interesting if I argued with you, but I'm busy being set decoration."

Random Thoughts

What are they doing with Sam's hair this season? It barely movies! Why don't they put him in one of these beanies he wears off-camera?

Is it me, or are Jensen and Jared barely trying anymore? They must be so tired of doing the same crap every season, even if they're not allowed to say so.


Next week: the midseason finale, wherein we are promised all sorts of awesome stuff. Yeah, right.