Writing Thoughts and Escaping From Reality

So, once again, I’m tempted to write in another fandom. I wrote my first Jeeves/Wooster fic, “Hard Boiled Eggs” and I’ve been on a reading binge for at least a week. A large part of the latter is that my elderly mother is doing badly and I need to hide from that and from the state of the world in general. So I plunge into the world of Archive of Our Own 3 for hours on end.

But is all of my time to be taken up writing fanfic? I’m not young anymore. I should be turning my thoughts to a memoir,  and essays. I have many ideas. I’ve written about mental illness. Right now I’m writing a piece about going insane. I’m quite good at it. I’m considering writing about handling a gun (45) while I was in Memphis and how I really wanted to buy it. Even though I’m pro-gun control and a New Yorker to boot. I should finish a long piece I’ve been writing about my father’s death. Or the time I had orgasms for 18 straight hours. Or the time a SWAT team showed up on my doorstep and took me to the psych ward. (Turns out it was a false alarm–someone called in to 911 deliberately. I never found out who it was.) I managed to write about being deported from England, in “A Basket Full of Cats”.

I should finish the enormous historical fantasy novel I’ve worked on in spurts since 2009. I should promote the anthology of my plays that a small press published over a year ago. I should try to perform more than twice a year.

Part of me just wants to write about the unexpected consequences of when Bertie convinces Jeeves to be Fred Astaire to Bertie’s Ginger Rogers.

If I was younger I wouldn’t be quite so conflicted. Oh, wait, I’m always so conflicted.

Life's A Witch: Supernatural Review, 11x10, "The Devil In The Details"

This episode pissed me off enough to actually write a review!  Yeah, a lot of fans were creaming their jeans over badass!Sam (with hurt and blood); Cas/Dean, Mark Pellegrino, Dean DONTFUCKWITHMYBROTHER Winchester, and other stuff I can't remember or will mention farther down in my review.  There are spoilers.  Why do reviewers and recappers warn for spoilers?  What are they supposed to say: "Sam's in Hell. Dean finds him. Crowley's nasty, Lucifer's nastier, uh, that's all we can tell you.  Oh, the Darkness is in there somewhere."

Directed by Thomas J. Wright with a thoroughly uninspired script by Andrew Dabb, "The Devil In The Details" is as hokey as its title. Seriously, when the cold open is by FAR the best part of the episode, we are in trouble.

THE ROAD SO FAR:

Loud rock song, Winchesters killing stuff, Impala sliding, until they have to go into a buttload of exposition to get us to the present.

NOW:

Christmas morning!  Adorable Crowley in pajamas!  Rowena in antlers and a blinking red nose!  A Funko Sam!  Lucifer as Santa!  Satan Claus kills Crowley with a candy cane.  Crowley collapses, wheezing, "I've been a good boy..."! Turns out it's a recurring nightmare of Rowena's, but Lucifer shows up to free her!  IT IS AMAZING!


Sorry for the poor pic quality but this set was the only one that caught the epicness of Crowley in footie pajamas.

TITLE CARD!

Dang.  Lucifer and Sam in the Cage.  They never should have shown Sam's "vision" of the Cage.  It's so much cooler than this traveling circus lion cage crap.  Lucifer monologues to Sam about the world ending and Lucifer will torture Sam and Sam will say yes and Sam says no and we pretty much know enough to skip most of what goes down between them because that is Exactly.What.Happens.

Rowena is madly in love with Lucifer and intends to be his queen.  Crowley and Rowena fight--she threatens him that all he'll have for protection is Sam Winchester.  To quote Crowley in S6, "Am I the only one who doesn't underestimate those denim wrapped NIGHTMARES?"  (Hee!)  Since none of the heavenly/demonly characters have real powers any more, it's tossed aside that Crowley is the King Of Hell, a powerful demon, that he can snap in and out of anywhere...he's now just another actor with a stunt guy who's paid to be thrown across rooms.  And a character who has spent much of the season in a cheesy men's room with chipped tile.


Another epic moment. Too bad it's the last one.

Soon, Dean has to pull over to the side of the road to puke his guts out.  Have we only seen anyone barfing oncamera once in all this time?  Back when Dean had the MOC and wasn't killing anybody? But that went away in Season 10 and he didn't need to kill anyone. Just be an asshole.

Pimpmobile!  Yay!  I love the pimpmobile.  Cas runs to Dean and gently caresses him.  Dean pretends not to like it.


Smiting Sickness?  Is Can using that just to touch Dean?

"The last time there was a smiting this [whatever] Lot's wife turned into salt."  What?  Supernatural has been fucking around with the Bible forever.  But didn't Balthazar turn Raphael's vessel into salt with the heavenly weapon in S6?  MY HEAD IS EXPLODING AND IT'S ONLY TEN MINUTES IN.

Cas concerned blah blah Dean sick blah blah Cas goes off to search for Amara's body blah blah he used to be able to search entire states in a split second but now he's just a guy who glows once in a while.  Dark Forest of Doom and Destruction blah blah our angel boy runs into a little Stereotype Young Asian Girl With Glasses angel (who works in statistics, no less) who tells him they're both expendable Cas is bummed blah blah.  Unlike the last 7 seasons, Castiel has lost the ability to recognize angels by sight blah blah "we're expendable but Sam and Dean are the real heroes we're not superheroes but we do the job no big loss."

Are you shitting me?  You're talking to the angel who helped save the world?  Who turned into God?  Who helped kill Dick Roman, the head Leviathan?  Yeah, Castiel has been a bit of a wet washcloth recently, but he used to be a warrior until it was convenient that he's not.

Little angel finds Amara and in your basic horror movie trope AMARA IS ALIVE!  She sucks down little Stereotype Young Asian Girl With Glasses Angel's grace.  The Dark Forest of Doom becomes bright and shiny.


They brought in a writer from Law & Order to write Amara's lines.

 Cas confronts Amara, who snarks like a prostitute in a cheesy cop procedural.  “Seriously? I mean, Heaven brought the thunder and it barely even scratched my paint job. But you and a shiny knife, sure, that’s gonna work.”  She then gives Cas the "weak full of self loathing" blah blah blah same shit Dean's always getting wait a minute has Dean even been in this episode never mind Cas gets blown back to Hell where he gets to do his patented Cas Is About To Fall Over move.

She's carved I AM COMING into Castiel's chest.  But no, she doesn't mean she's going to do the dirty with Dean.


It's insane how much better this pic is than the episode.

Lucifer takes Sam back in time.  First to his first make-out session (COLIN FORD! COLIN FORD!) then to Stull Cemetery to relive Sam jumping into the Cage


"Wow, my face was so much fatter then!"
"You were doing steroids trying to get a movie part. Didn't pan out."
"Shut up. I only want to be in this show.  For the rest of my natural life."
"You have Stockhold Syndrome, Jared."

Lucifer takes Sam to Amelia.  We've all done our best to forget her.  (NO! MORE COLIN FORD!) The writers do a little fan-pleasing soft shoe.  Lucifer says "this is the worst thing you've ever done".  They do a retcon blah blah blah Sam isn't strong enough blah blah if I hear "not strong enough" I will shoot out my tv.  One more time a character lectures Sam about his "insane bond" with Dean.  Blood is coming out of my ears.  Hasn't anyone noticed that the Winchesters are basically conjoined twins?  You can't have one without the other?


The worst torture Lucifer devised--bringing back Samelia.

Dean has to sing "Camptown Ladies" (hee!) so that Billie The Reaper (wtf is it with this show tossing around Reapers/Angels/Demons together?) will let him into hell blah blah blah Dean does the "I'm going to Hell" soundbite on his phone.  Somehow, Dean's traumatic memories of 40 years in Hell have been erased and he trots on down.

Back to Lucifer monologuing (I love you, Mark Pellegrino but shut up).  Lucifer makes a throwaway joke about Michael--wait, isn't Michael supposed to be in the Cage?  Go jump off a cliff, writers. "We can beat her," Lucifer urges beautifully lit Sam.

Dean brings a Witchcatcher.  Crowley locks his mom in it.  This gives him complete power over her.  Has anyone else noticed that Dean has bupkus to do in this episode?  Rowena is forced to do a spell to extinguish Lucifer.  Wait, what?  Witchcraft can overcome THE DEVIL?  What bullshit is this?  Why not leave Luci in his Cage and do a spell on Sam that banishes the visions...too simple.  Sorry.


Dean: "I'll just wait here, then."

Sam rejects Lucifer, in the best dialogue in the episode: “My answer is ‘No.’ This isn’t cuz of Dean or the past. This is about me having faith in my friends, having faith in my family. We will find a way. I’m ready to die. And I’m ready to watch people I love die. But I’m not ready to be your bitch.”

So, Lucifer proceeds to beat the shit out of him.  Dean and Castiel show up, get zapped into the Cage, and Lucifer kicks their collective asses.


I so wish that was my hand in Sam's hair...


Lucifer pulls Supernatural's signature move.  Have the Winchesters ever thought of kicking the enemy in the chest? Just me?

Rowena's spell works, the Winchesters and Castiel leave Hell, but wait...Cas is acting strange!  The boys drive off.

Dumbass Cas has said yes to Lucifer.  Meanwhile, since Rowena has to do his bidding, Crowley asks his mother why she hates him. When she looks into this eyes, she sees the pathetic woman she was before magic: when he was born, his father went back to his wife, leaving her on her own. Most important, if she didn’t hate him, she’d love him, and love is a weakness.  Then Casifer/Lustiel shows up, comes on to Rowena and snaps her neck.  That's how it works in this show.  Help out a Big Bad and your delusional ass gets kicked out of the land of the living.

Misha does his best Mark Pellegrino impression, using his real voice.  He does the head tilt thing that he did as the Leviathan saying, "This is going to be so much fun".

Cue Supernatural echo bongoes, and we're done!

Random thoughts:

I'm bummed that Ruth O'Connell is leaving.

Isn't there anything that villains can do besides grabbing a Winchester's neck and lifting them off the ground?  Would levitating them cost too much?

When they do the big season montages, does anyone else notice that the killings look alike?  Exploding in smoke, exploding in fire, exploding?

Shout out to Lucifer's line about moving to LA and solving crimes. A nice shot at "Lucifer", which premieres next week on FOX. And features Satan as a police consultant. *snort*

Cas and Amara have no chemistry whatsoever.

Amara still needs a bra.

I miss Abbadon.

Mark Pellegrino is a better actor than Misha Collins.

Lucifer banged Sam during the latter's turn in Hell.  Does this mean Casifer seduces Dean?  Count me in.

NEXT WEEK:

Dee Wallace guest stars.  There are creatures.  Casifer swanks around.  Misha gets to use his real voice.

The Wonderful Chronicles - My Sorta Breast Cancer Journey

In May of this year, I discovered that there was a suspicious lump in my left breast.  Two, actually.

There's a history of breast cancer in my family.  Actually, a host of cancers.  So I knew it might happen eventually.  And when it did, I was pissed and scared.  So these are edited entries I made on a private blog.  I called them "The Wonderful Chronicles".

I wouldn't exactly call it my breast cancer journey.  It hasn't changed my life in any fundamental way so far.  Does that make me a bad cancer patient?  Am I not being noble enough??  Should I post photos of myself smiling boldly while wearing a head-scarf?  Even if I didn't go through chemo and I still have all of my hair?  Anyway, in the grand tradition of over-sharing, here we go.

May 23, 2015

It's Saturday, the first day of our three-day weekend. I got three letters from my doctors after a series of tests:

1) Blood work: mildly elevated bad cholesterol

2) I have arthritis in both knees

3) I have a suspicious growth in my breast.

I want to drown myself in the toilet.